Monday, 8 April 2013


G is for Grovertron.

In the spirit of mixing thingsup today’s blog is in the form of a story. It is about my friend Grover andit’s a bit weird….enjoy!


Just after 10. They sattogether in the lounge. Everything seemed normal. Rosie was painting her nails,the wonderful Hannah (aka me) was being her normal wonderful self sittinghappily and sensibly watching television. The one they called Grover sat next toher appearing to read Greek. To be clear Grover was studying Greek, she wasn’ta Greek nor was she just being super cool and reading it randomly! Rosie andHannah weren’t too familiar with Greek so they weren’t to know that Grover wasactually plotting. Plotting a plan of disastrous consequences! Grover looked upwith her beady little eyes and grinned thinking of this master plan. Thewonderful Hannah did something wonderful and Grover smiled sweetly even thoughshe was not listening her beady little eyes scanned the room as her planstarted to come together. Suddenly Grover kicked their beloved inflatable SantaTed across the room - that’s right it was the middle of April and we still hadan inflatable Santa out….Ted you see is an all year round Santa….he’s basicallyfamily! Rosie and Hannah turned to Grover and exclaimed:

‘Grover what was that for…youjust kicked our beloved Ted across the room…why Grover, why?!?!’ Grover lookedup from her page of Greek writing and gave the widest grin:

‘Don’t call me Grover I am theGrovertron!’ she said defiantly as her eyes changed from a lovely Grover browntoo pure Grover mauve (as is the new colour of bad!)

‘HUH!’ went Rosie and Hannahsimultaneously as they were shocked by the revelation! The Grovertron jumped toher tiny feet and stood tall at 5ft as her mauve eyes surveyed the room and hertwo new captures. Rosie was like ‘what the fudgicles’ while Hannah politelysaid:

‘Oh no!’

‘HA HA HA’ the grovertronlaughed . Hannah and Rosie looked concerned not panicked but concerned. Groveshad gone crazy!

‘I am not crazy’ theGrovertron smiled - all purple eyed and you will pay for thinking so! Rosie andHannah eyeballed each other not understanding what was going on. This wasunusual for Hannah as she was usually so amazing and clever and yet this hadgone completely over her head. As she stood there dazed the grovertron lookeddown at her Greek book and shot a beam of purple light from her eyes. It hitthe Greek writing and the letters rose up from the page and formed a glowingpurple sword in the air. The grovertron grabbed the sword as Hannah and Rosiebacked away from the grovertron until they walked into the wall.

‘Uh-oh!’ Hannah helpfully saidagain.

‘What the fudgicles!’ piped upRosie.

‘You will yield to me and bowbefore me as lord and master of this England that you call your home and that Inow call my new domain! Ha ha ha!’ the grovertron laughed her evil laugh.Hannah and Rosie looked at each other confused as to what was so funny to thisdelusional creature. They did not bow down before her though. And she noticed:

‘Hey you bow down and youother one also bow down!’ Rosie was like hey Groves don’t talk to me like that.Angry at the way Rosie had addressed her the Grovertron pointed the sword ather throat.

‘Do not use that name I am theGrovertron!’ and her eyes shot beams of purple that just missed Rosies leftear.

‘Oh no!’ Hannah helpful againsaid. The grovertron was angry and Hannah asked her to let Rosie go. There wasnothing she could do though the grovertron was intent on chopping off Rosiesleft ear because as I did not mention earlier the Grovertron did not have realears and so people with ears made her jealous and angry.

‘I am all powerful and you arebut a lowly Surrey’rian and you Medway-ite step away from me,’ she turned thesword on Hannah who actually as brave as she was looked a little worried.Suddenly just as the grovertron was about to chop the ears off of her newslaves. Ted jumped up and knocked the sword out of her hands losing the connectionfrom the mauve eye thing the sword broke off into millions of Greek letterswhich Rosie then ate to stop her from reconnecting the sword. Ted dived at theGrovertron:

‘Do not hurt my masters!’

He wrestled the grovertron tothe ground where Hannah then jumped to his aid, Rosie was still eating Greekletters, Hannah pinned the grovertron down and shouted;

‘Grover come back to me! Comeback to me groves!!!!!’ Nothing was happening she tried again still nothing.Then she thought about it and turned back to Grover she made direct eye contactand sang her a Grover song. It was intense but thanks to what was surely herwonderous singing voice Grover returned to them and her ears grew back. Thankgod!!! But would the Grovertron ever return…who knows…stay tuned!!!


  1. I love that you've censored Rosie's foul mouth ;)

  2. haha i love this story. of course its true!

  3. Burkester - I wanted to answer the question you left me yesterday about entering the genealogy contest. Yes, of course you may enter! Just send your submission to their email and they will contact you when a winner is announced. Good luck!